All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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