Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
