We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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