matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
