It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
