Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
and you fell through a lawn chair
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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