That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
