You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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