i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
