Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
