cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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