I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
