I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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