plz talk dirty to me
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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