I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
