was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
