I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
