I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I have demons in me.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
