she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i came on her dog
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
