Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
