The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
