Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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