whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Oh god it's open bar.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
