I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
