Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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