if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
