hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
