i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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