Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
