walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
