Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
