my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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