jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
