i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Randomize
