I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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