He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize