If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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