Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
