I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
