I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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