Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
third nipple confirmed
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
