So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
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Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
