her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
