Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
