I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Is it because I queefed?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
