K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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