Got a toothbrush?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
