I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
