i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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