Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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