I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
