Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
