i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
