his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
