Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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