i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i believe in u and ur pee
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
