they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
