I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
